Almost each of us wants to be a social person. But what does this statement mean? What does it mean to be a social person? Well, in a few words social person is the person who communicates with others easily and does it a lot. Some have a natural talent, or charisma in other words and they can easily communicate to anyone with a great ease, but most of the times people feel uncomfortable with others. One survey says that 4 of 5 people are afraid of public speaking. And if you are a proud representative of this majority then you are reading the right article.
I will try to give you some tips and will help you to learn how to become a social person and how to develop your social skills. But remember don’t overreact. You don’t want to become that guy in the room who tells bad jokes and sticks like a fly to everyone around. It is annoying. But how to become a social person and avoid the destiny of becoming “oh, not this guy again”? Let’s start our lesson my Padawans! (some Star Wars reference, couldn’t resist, never mind)
Now you think “What a surprise, of course if you want to be a social person you must talk to people, not stand like a decoration, I am wasting my time”. But wait a second, I know that I haven’t revealed the greatest secret of humanity, but tell me how many people do you interact with during the week? 10, 20 maybe even 50? Let’s put aside your family, friends and colleges. How many are left now? I don’t think more of a dozen. You see, we all have a certain circle of people with whom we do interact almost every day, these are people who we trust, love or maybe we just don’t have choice (like with that colleges of yours who always eats your cookies). For becoming a social person we must not be afraid to let people inside that circle. Talk to anyone you want, don’t be shy. Is it a party or a meeting or even a conference, go to the person you want to talk and talk, just say hi, tell your name. It’s not bad for the start.
How many friends do you have on Facebook? I’m sure you talk to most of them only when wishing a happy birthday or don’t talk for years. Do not forget your existing connections. First it is easier to maintain contact with a person you already know than to get in touch with someone new and second old people bring new people. They will introduce you to other people and the new people will introduce you to other new people and so on and you won’t even understand how you become a social person.
Where is the best place to shine with your charming social skills? Of course in a group of people. If you have friends who like movies, organize a movie night for them. Soccer lovers? Let’s watch the final match together! By bringing people with the same interests together you create a group which will collect again and again, and guess who will be the superstar? You. On the first meeting who is the only person who knows everyone else? Who is the organizer? You! Guess with whom will everyone want to talk to?
But don’t forget the main part here. People must feel themselves included. If everyone at work is going out on Friday evening then ask anyone who may not know about it if they want to come along as well. If you're meeting some friends later that night, ask your new acquaintance if they want to join you. Of course, when you throw invitations out like this, they won't always be accepted, but that's alright.
Compliments are generally used only when flirting, but try to compliment whenever you have an opportunity. Your friend bought new shoes, tell about it. You’ve met a new girl with awesome haircut, tell about that. Your lecturer has published a new article on chemistry, tell how much you liked it. But never flatter. People have a born talent to feel than they are being flattered. Some like it, but most of us consider flattering people negative ones (snakes you can say). When they are appropriate, deserving, and authentic, compliments show that you are secure in yourself, observant of others, and friendly.
Again without overacting put some energy into the group’s conversations and make sure everyone will have fun with you and enjoy your presence. If someone is left out of the conversation, try to open a topic they can participate either. Or if you notice that someone wants to say something, but can't find a moment to get into the discussion, casually indicate to everyone that this person has something to say or ask them a question. You're all doing an activity and someone doesn't seem comfortable with? Try to explain the basics if they aren't familiar with how to do it or convince them to join your fun or just ask them to help you with something related.
In the era of Facebook and twitter when we follow or add everyone we know or don’t know you should better have an active and interesting social profile. Post frequently, but not too much (don’t be spammy), write engagement driving posts, comment to others, like their photos, etc… This takes a lot time I know and many people just don’t like to post much, but believe me it is really necessary nowadays to have an active profile. Even HR department view applicants social media profiles to have a general picture of a person.
So basically this is it. Let’s repeat our tips of becoming more social person one more time:
1. never forget to talk to new people,
2. keep in touch with people you already know,
3. create groups from people who share the same interest,
4. be the heart of the company,
5. occasionally compliment people,
6. be active online.
But remember don’t do anything too much, you don’t want to be the annoying one and want to be the most interesting one in the company. Keep on developing you social skills and wait more from ODD Republic.